You ever read one of those books about someone lost in a snowstorm? How did they survive, how did they get back to civilization? Just keep going. Put one foot in front of the other and take a step, repeat. That’s how I’ve been getting through the past few days, with Pinterest as my crutch. I’m heading full-on towards depression and just keeping myself busy and moving is my last ditch personal effort to ward off the inevitable. I made a coaster that looks like a pallet out of popsicle sticks, just one, four seemed unreasonable. I covered a diaper box in pretty paper and then didn’t put anything in it. I did the usual routine too, like making laundry soap and killing sourdough starters. Hubby and I did make some damn good egg rolls. But it’s here, I’m chain smoking and hungry all the time, I’m also afraid to sleep which is new. I’m typically a sleep lover but I’ve been up since 2 am and am experiencing an aversion to napping. I think I don’t want to be alone with my own thoughts churning in my head. The moment I stop moving, I’m all I have to think about and that’s not comfortable right now. I see the drug lady at the end of the week and we are going to have to do something before this gets out of hand. It’s like reaching the apex on the first hill of a roller coaster; you know your going to drop and it starts slowly but the momentum builds and then you drop so hard and fast your in a loop upside down before you know it. I don’t want to ride that roller coaster again, but I’m in the car at the top of the hill looking down.