Negative people can suck the life out of you. I made the effort several years ago to cut the negative energy from my life and that meant losing some close friends and also putting some family members at arms length. All the negative actions, constant bitching and rain on my parade attitudes were bringing me down and adding to my personal struggles. If your having trouble dealing with your own life and problems, the last thing you need is to continuously deal with someone else’s created problems. I’m not saying I dumped a sick friend cause she was dying, I’m talking about those people who are always in crisis and nine times out of ten it is a situation they created or could have avoided. Drama queens and crisis dwellers have no place in my life now. I made the tough decision to no longer try to repair the relationship with my older sister as well. I have, for years, made the effort to sweep past hurts under the rug and build a real relationship with her, but she continues to hurt me and the last thing I need from anyone is more damage. Family is very important to me and I’m feeling disconnected from them since I am living so far away, so the extra effort of tip-toeing around her at family functions was definitely an added struggle. Now I have decided to leave her alone and make no further effort for anything more. I find all the time not spent dwelling in drama frees me up to enjoy the healthy and happy in my life that much more.
Trying to remain friends with someone who still drinks or uses is a futile and painful struggle. Fighting the desire to have a beer with a friend is one of the hardest things and once they are tipsy and start pushing it on me, I usually have to leave. Why people don’t understand addiction I don’t know, but the world revolves around alcohol and not being a drinker seriously inhibits a social life. When I sobered up I lost all my friends because they just couldn’t understand I was unable to be around it and not drinking made me a downer to them. I now have one friend, who is also bipolar, and my spouse and family. I am Happy with that most days.