Well since I have started this blog the focus has changed more from the homesteading things I am interested in to the bipolar things I am experiencing. It has grown and progressed on it’s own and I am fine with the direction it has taken. I feel like I can hold myself accountable for my actions and explore my emotions. My drifting mind finds focus and an outlet for questions and their answers.
I am a thirty-something mother and wife struggling with bipolar disorder. Like most bipolar people, I have a very colorful past with a myriad of jobs and lives lived full of drugs and alcohol. I am struggling to come to terms with that past and to find my way in this new medicated world. I live on an army post with my family and coping with military life adds some interesting problems to day to day life. I don’t feel like I should complain about a life of instability with the army as everyone is struggling with this right now. I have a supportive if distant family and my children and spouse close.
This blog gives me a place to share my feelings and fears without having to look in the face of the person who knows how I really feel inside. I can let myself out here without worrying about judgment from the people in my daily life. The stigma of bipolar disorder has me keeping it under wraps to everyone but my own family and one friend who is also bipolar. I can be myself here and that means the world to me.