I have previously shared one of my psychosis – cameras and robot flies, but only recently learned that another one is shared by others as well. The Music. It plays on at any moment of quiet solitude like falling asleep or while doing a focus absorbing task. It’s in the background at any quiet moment. Always in the next room and not quite loud enough to hear the words. I really thought it was a side effect of the lamictal, but I have been off the lamictal for months now. La Di Da Di Do. No specific genre or artist, it comes and chooses on it’s own.
Finding out about a shared psychosis makes me wonder what other psychosis float around out there. I know sometimes when I am feeling my super powers that they are not real. Mind-reading, mind-control and other things Jedi strike from time to time. As a teenager I spent some time writing spells and casting hokey because I had been gifted at birth with magical powers. Every now and again I will read my husband’s mind and not like what I hear, but I try not to hold it against him. The things our own minds can create astounds me and on occasion frightens. The more intense psychotic symptoms seem to be more fleeting and have more to do with a manic or severely depressed state, while the music and the cameras are there even when dysthymic. I have only heard a voice once and it scared the sheeit out of me. I was really depressed at the time and it told me to take all my pills. Telling yourself it is not real and knowing it is not real, somehow does not make it not real. Those cameras in every crack and crevice of my house are not real, I know that, but that doesn’t stop me from covering them with duct tape.