Despite complete exhaustion throughout the day and 100mg trazadone two hours before bed, sleep was elusive. When I finally started sleeping well, here come the puppies. My not really understanding spouse thought it would be okay to wake me up. I can understand why, I don’t normally sleep late, but I can’t help but be a little bitter about the lost sleep. Turns out I am not the only one struggling to sleep though. I caught my ten year old getting cereal and playing on the computer at 3am, put her back to bed. At 4am she was watching a show. She says she doesn’t normally do this, but I wonder if this is not something that occurs frequently. I struggle with her diagnosis and perhaps I have been ignoring signs of her own struggle. She is so young for such a big struggle to face. Her mood has improved since she started trileptal. No more explosions of emotions, no self harming activity and no more detachment from reality when manic. The tv is going to come out of her room so that it’s not being watched in the middle of the night. I can’t do anything about her wakefulness but a quiet sleep environment is necessary. Sleep hygiene I think they call it. She already has a regular bedtime routine, but with it being a Saturday night we didn’t follow it. Maybe that had something to do with it. I’ll be sure not to slack off on that again. I need to stop wallowing in my own misery and be sure to be perceptive to signs of it in her. Right now she seems pretty happy and is going out to play with her friends daily and spending time with us. This summer she spent locking herself in her room reading and drawing, wouldn’t play with her friends at all. She was having meltdowns and running herself into walls. She kept packing bags to walk to China and get cool chinese candy. Now we can have a conversation with no over the top reactions and that’s nice. It’s good to see her not struggling anymore but I have to be sure to watch for the signs that she needs a med adjustment or more help. It’s going to be a long road.