At least I can say I’m caught up on sleep, for like, the rest of my life. It has been six months since my last post, six months since I did any journaling, or anything really. Life and health kind of fell apart. My thyroid stopped working and stuff kept happening and I didn’t have the energy for any of it. Lithium destroyed my thyroid. Destroyed all the progress I had made and wrecked the life I was building for myself at Ft Knox. The community garden fell apart and I became a total recluse, no friends, no fun and a really dirty house. Not to mention a wider ass. I’m off the lithium now and taking thyroid meds, it took months but my levels are normal again, I can get out of bed and function like a human being again. I have another extra fifty pounds from the whole ordeal and I have started to work on getting that off. Plus the other fifty I gained while taking remeron.
We are settled in now at Ft Gordon in GA and so far things are going well. I have a great little group of friends to work out with. They really keep me motivated. My new med regimen seems to be doing it’s thing. Morgan’s meds seem to be really helping her too. Life seems to be on the uptake for now and I’m just going to roll with it. With a few new boundaries for myself. I won’t take on any new responsibilities or make commitments where other people are relying on me to be consistent or even present if a similar situation as what happened in Ft Knox were to happen again. I can’t be in charge of anything or be counted on to be responsible for anything but myself and my family. Just because I am present in the here and now doesn’t mean I will be functional two days from now. I have to learn to forgive myself for these, my shortcomings, I am not a failure, I just fail a lot.