Nuts

I told one of my new friends that I have a blog today, I just casually mentioned it to M in passing.  I haven’t told anyone about my blog since I had a friend stop talking to me after reading it.  I didn’t mention that she should read it or where to find it but I did mention that it’s about being bipolar.  I can’t stop wondering why I opened my big fat trap, why can’t I just keep things to myself?  These people don’t know my past, I am not that comfortable with them yet.  They don’t know I’m a drunken pole-dancing bipolar wreck. Albeit that is all in the distant past, but it has bitten me in the ass before.

    This is also the first time I have come out and said that I have bipolar as well.  They know my daughter has it because we talk about our kids a lot.  I just never came out and said to her that I have it too.  Well now she knows, will she judge me?  I am in a pretty stable place these days and I don’t think I come off as a nut job as I have in the past.  But I also always think I am stable and look back and think ‘Damn girl! You were being nutty!’  I am trying my damndest not to fuck this up.  I am really enjoying the company and time out of the house, and our time together is limited.  F is moving away in July.  We are potentially moving next summer along with M.  Army roulette on where we all are going.

 

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