I told one of my new friends that I have a blog today, I just casually mentioned it to M in passing. I haven’t told anyone about my blog since I had a friend stop talking to me after reading it. I didn’t mention that she should read it or where to find it but I did mention that it’s about being bipolar. I can’t stop wondering why I opened my big fat trap, why can’t I just keep things to myself? These people don’t know my past, I am not that comfortable with them yet. They don’t know I’m a drunken pole-dancing bipolar wreck. Albeit that is all in the distant past, but it has bitten me in the ass before.
This is also the first time I have come out and said that I have bipolar as well. They know my daughter has it because we talk about our kids a lot. I just never came out and said to her that I have it too. Well now she knows, will she judge me? I am in a pretty stable place these days and I don’t think I come off as a nut job as I have in the past. But I also always think I am stable and look back and think ‘Damn girl! You were being nutty!’ I am trying my damndest not to fuck this up. I am really enjoying the company and time out of the house, and our time together is limited. F is moving away in July. We are potentially moving next summer along with M. Army roulette on where we all are going.