I told one of my new friends that I have a blog today, I just casually mentioned it to M in passing. I haven’t told anyone about my blog since I had a friend stop talking to me after reading it. I didn’t mention that she should read it or where to find it but I did mention that it’s about being bipolar. I can’t stop wondering why I opened my big fat trap, why can’t I just keep things to myself? These people don’t know my past, I am not that comfortable with them yet. They don’t know I’m a drunken pole-dancing bipolar wreck. Albeit that is all in the distant past, but it has bitten me in the ass before.
This is also the first time I have come out and said that I have bipolar as well. They know my daughter has it because we talk about our kids a lot. I just never came out and said to her that I have it too. Well now she knows, will she judge me? I am in a pretty stable place these days and I don’t think I come off as a nut job as I have in the past. But I also always think I am stable and look back and think ‘Damn girl! You were being nutty!’ I am trying my damndest not to fuck this up. I am really enjoying the company and time out of the house, and our time together is limited. F is moving away in July. We are potentially moving next summer along with M. Army roulette on where we all are going.
You aren’t nuts and nothing you said in that conversation made you sound nuts 🙂
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