The long awaited psych appointment came Wednesday and the results are not what I expected. I am going off of antidepressants. Wow, I am still in shock. It came about in a good way, I like the Doc, I think he is smart, so it’s not like I am not on board with the decision. We discussed it for an hour, weighing options and looking at alternatives. Instead of increasing the Depakote, which I was going in there expecting, we decided to taper off of the Zoloft because it may be triggering the mania. What better way to come down than to stop taking uppers. We all know that the current trend is to not give people with bipolar antidepressants, but I have always been on them and always expected to be on them. I am petrified. I have been so very depressed in the past and just the thought of reverting to that state has me questioning my decision, and it was ultimately my decision. Supposedly the idea is that the mood stabilizer will keep the depression from hitting, but we didn’t add another mood stabilizer because they all cause weight gain and I am down thirty pounds and want to keep going in that direction. The only mood stabilizer I have on board is Abilify. Is it going to be enough? The timing for this could not be worse. My husband is going to be gone the whole month of July because he is a soldier and that’s what soldiers do. I won’t be completely on my own, I have B and M to keep an eye on me. My mom is planning to come down for a visit, and also go to my next psych appointment. Mo’s sister and niece may also come down for a visit too. So I won’t be alone and people will be here if I hit a wall and fall apart. It’s reassuring to know that.