To Zoloft or Not To Zoloft

Well I am back on the antidepressant already.  I couldn’t do it.  The fourth day of half doses and Ed passed away.  I have never had someone so close to me pass away and it was a double whammy because I had to help my daughter grieve for the loss of her father.  My husband left for a month for field exercises 20 min before I got the call, I have never felt so alone.  I was physically ill, my brain shut down, I couldn’t stop crying.  I feel like it hit so hard despite all the forewarning we had because, well you never expect today to be the day, and the half doses of Zoloft had me in withdrawals to a certain extent.  My stomach felt better an hour after taking a full dose, I took another dose at my normal bedtime and have taken the full dose since.  I woke up the next day functional again.  I am still grieving deeply but the physical symptoms have passed and I feel like I can cope.  Things just snowballed and I couldn’t deal with it all at once.  I still think going off antidepressants is worth a try, just not right now.  When my husband gets back and I have dealt with Ed’s loss, I will try again, maybe.  Now I’m hesitant, when your hypo-manic everything sounds like a good idea and anything is possible,  but I think that the euphoria has passed and now the idea is terrifying.




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