It’s been a couple days since I have sat down to write anything, I have suddenly become very busy. I sat down and talked to my mom about suspecting I was hypomanic again. She said she doesn’t see it. She says I am just so used to being depressed and afraid of becoming manic again that I take every little thing I feel and interpret it as one or the other. I can see that I do do that. Though after experiencing the great waves of happiness that comes with my mania, it is easy to interpret anything less as depressed. Her take was that I am just being a normal person with goals she is working towards and a quirky personality who is bad with money. Normal person.
Keeping me busy, a random check came in the mail from a complicated thing I won’t get into, has to do with interest rates charged to military personnel illegally, but hey we got some of our money back! So I sat down and paid off a bunch of bills, I even next day aired one to keep it from going to collections. The baby is sick and the teen has a sprain, I got my hair done, I’ve been doing some shopping. I figured I may as well pick up all those things we have been doing without while I feel like it. It’s nice to be out and about in the world again, and to have a pair of jeans you can’t see light through the seat of. While I know it’s temporary, I am enjoying myself. I’m not obsessing over the next wave of emotion or all the things that could go wrong. Although the money is going fast it is all going to the right places, except the money my husband blew through. I shouldn’t have told him how much it was because he went haywire on amazon buying everything he needs to be comfortable and wiffle ball bats. I hope he sleeps comfortably with his new body pillow and all, but damn man let me pay the bills first. My plan was not his plan, I guess, even though we talked about it first, he still spent a grand, easy. And then he guilt trips me by saying over and over how guilty he is for spending so much money. I want him to have everything he needs and wants, but financially we don’t have the means all the time. With me not working things have been really tight and the credit cards have been getting used more and financing something instead of buying outright is so tempting. Like when we needed a new washer and dryer- we couldn’t afford it, so we financed, and now that stuff needs paid off. We don’t need wiffle ball bats.